Re:Touhou
by ItsEizanAgain
Summary: He could take on a sickening loop of events that leads him to trying to save what he adored the most. Which universe did not matter, he had let his life taken just so they could see the next sunrise. He's done it before, he will do it again. In hopes things will turn out different for their sakes. For the future of our Gensokyou.


This is the part I start rambling my life as a backstory and evidence to prove that all along in my lifetime, I was but an oppressed helpless middle aged corporate member of society constantly wishing in the back of his head, "if things were just different."

…

…

…

Oh god oh fuk there will be a wall I promise Yukari I swear don't hit me with that train please OH GODOHFUK-…

* * *

My life was a nice runthrough of events, although it didn't fulfil, but it was nice.

Of all things that could possibly go wrong, I have never imagined this weird ticklish feeling of my bones, and flesh splattering across the gravel like a fly being squashed by the grips of a swatter.

Just moments ago, I stood by the side of the rail, waiting for the next train with a lit cigaratte in my hand.

My head was not the clearest. Bad turns of luck that happened at work shrouded my thoughts, and I was completely giving in to the surge of nicotine that I breathed in and out with every sip.

I saw that child. Yes I saw her, without a parent or guardian, she just strolled at the edge of the sides. Why did not I do anything to prevent the shocking fall, that once I only realized what happened when an old lady came rushing to the scene, desperately seeking help for her child in the late hours of the station.

Just how bad things turned once more, there I saw a faint trail of light, coming towards the station on its rail.

There were many witnesses. Yet my reflexes did not wait for those willing to take action.

Spitting out the cigaratte and dropping my briefcase down, I jumped off from the sides in a rush, staggering when I landed so.

I ran to the scene, my head constantly turning back to see the train inching closer with every tick of the clock.

My head silently apologized for the actions of the child that I carried in my arms, could've stopped her but here I am now.

It was too late. Like how I arrived late at my workplace. Like how I'm late to submit documents due to client demands. Like how I was late to confess to the only love of my life before some dude already put a ring on her.

That train is close, and it's gonna hit harder than when the news hits everyone and how they will just brush off how I died.

There was this guy on top of the wall, his expression ready and arms spread.

I closed my eyes, readying my body to perform the throw of faith.

then so I did.

A smile came to my face as the girl safely landed into her …fathers? Arms. Well, relief looms over me even in that moment of glimpse.

But I knew they were looking in horror at me.

And everything was black. If black was a possible color of illumination, then it came flashing before my eyes.

…

Still I could not believe.

Even now I'm trying to think this as some sort of joke. Wait, am I under the train or I just got flung away like a baseball?.

But god, what's certain right now its too hard to think of any emotions when blood is running down my head. Yet here I am trying to imagine how my carcass looks right now.

I felt my final breath, if only I just died from lung cancer or anything.

…

…

…

…

"**Super Luigi Galaxy!"**

**You can now play as Luigi (A)**

* * *

"D-dream?."

Whatever horror crash train accident dream I had, it felt damn well real. And I checked my whole body to ensure that I really did NOT play as Luigi.

Inhaling, I myself found the smell of my body and bed odor unpleasing(as if it was ever pleasing) and I realize it was due to the uncomforting morning rays that was heating this room like a microwave. Sitting up, I stretched, scratch the back of my hair, looking at the clock next to me it was right at 6 AM and unveiling the blanket atop of me because DAMNIT WHY IS I AGAIN.

Oh the A.C is not on. Guess there's a power outage.

Peculiar, but maybe they are running maintainance.

I live my life under a great asset of a standard 2 storey housing with space more than a single guy can have. Which, most japanese by this era could not even possess.

Well, this was my parents but… yeah.

Walking out of my room, I proceed to initiate my daily preparation activities before setting out to work.

Or correctly do I say, initiate loop sequence from this point to that point.

I flicked up the switch before the door of the bathroom, oh wait the electricity is busted.

Here I go again, things were never different ever since my loyalty was set in stone towards the objective of sustaining my lifestyle with finances and wage that did not make up for the effort I have poured.

I wake up, with the very hope in the back of my head, wanting to see the needle of the clock pointing at the times long before the 6 AM point.

Getting up from my bed, walking off in remorse and bitter awareness that I will be facing once more papers and papers stacking upon my desk as if it was an endless supply of dominos that was won by some group I don't know I just happened to scroll past the article on Facebook and this description is just a random blabber knowing there's just my invisible audience.

Showering in the cold sprays of water, my heater's busted to the point that it can't heat up the water in cold morning hour's like these.

In reluctance, I button up my shirt as my eyes met my own in the mirror. A retarded image of a man that could have tried to find hapiness but yet here he still whines internally at the normal flow of causality.

My looks?. I have already reached a certain age where aging should seem obvious, but aside from the occasional facial growth, I look young.

And sometimes I do not bother to fix this, aside from shaving the said facial hair. I completely gave up looking out for my personal appearance once I reached the age of "man if someone wants me then she better goes for whats inside."

At least, my tongue and tastes are good enough to enjoy the food that I took time to cook and feast properly. Not like the masses that chose factory produced literal-wax-in-a-cup-that-you-boil-and-eat as their main diet.

It has always been dark, an indifferent gloom that surrounds me wherever I sat and gaze, wanting to have a life where things could have been different.

And I am not just talking about the emptiness of my social circle, but how I would have looked around myself.

Dark times, but, I seek and find joy in the very little things I do.

Smoking after having a nice meal with a stomach filled, feels really nice. And I produce this so called toxication of environment in my house because I can do so.

"Haah.."

Nonetheless, I chucked down the embers of what remains in the tray. I'm just gonna wash off the dishes later.

Making sure everything is packed inside my briefcase, and double checking the switches so they do not turn on when the power comes back, I begin setting out from my sanctuary.

And as usual, I step outside greeted with my own thoughts of a running Universal parody of 'FUCK THIS GAY EARTH' bottom text 'AND ALL 7,500,000,000 PEOPLE IN IT' in the back of my head.

Ahhh, the sun, a blinding ray of light. If only it didn't goddamn shine in my room trying to roast me alive-…

Wait, the sun?. How could this be, the entrance of my house has always faced north and it couldn't even-…

Wait.

…

…

What.

The first thing ever that laid upon my 'goddamned probably I am high as a kite just like when Jesus Christ got crossed and nae'nae'd upon' eyes, is not modern day residential area Tokyo.

Whatever this landscape is, this is NOT 81-, 22 Tenchijou District, Shinjuku-kuu, Tokyo-tou 169-42000, Japan.

This—this is fucking..

* * *

_This is Gensokyou._

_Don't catch you slippin now._

_Don't catch you slippin now. _

_Look what I'm whippin now._

* * *

Okay, whatever begoddamned after christ year of japanese edo era this is.

I am NOT amused.

actually wait no, maybe I'm really just high as a kite. I'm just in another dream, a really bad dream, where I somehow consumed some mad shit and now I have ascend to the highest peak of human evolution.

High just like this hill where I'm standing right now. And why the fuck does my house has to be in this place like-…

A COUPLE THOUSANDS OF METERS ABOVE SEA LEVEL!?.

Below me, I could see far off mixes of biomes. Green, pink, yellow, huge lakes and whatever because I couldn't make it out because of my poor eyesight.

…

…

Did I just get fucking isekai'd?.

No. No. Nonononono.

nO.

Nothing could describe how dire this situation is, except an appreciatable amount of the word FUCK, that I can scream out!.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!".

…

…

So nothing.

A man in his office suit, a neck tie, a briefcase, a whole lot of mixed emotions that could not be described due to the bizzare situation and an isekai world?.

Yep, its epic gamer time.

What could possibly go wrong?.

"Shh-shh. Hey, you."

Alarmed by the voice, I turned my head around to the source.

W-woah! It's a dude in like, traditional clothing!. And he speaks Japanese too!, guess I really did went back in time.

From a far he was approaching me slowly with his body lowered, scanning my body from head to toe.

Oh boy, traces of civillization!. "Uhh hi! Do-you-understand-me?."

He nods. I guess Japanese is no different in the old tongue.

"Great!, can you tell me what this place is?."

"This is no place for you."

Gee, thanks for that Captain Obvious.

He then extends his hands to me "Come, I will bring you to a safer place."

…

…

Why does he have claws and fur in his hands?.

"Uhh, are you sure?." I questioned, my senses instantly came kicking the moment I notice he was becoming out of breath.

"Y-Yesss, come with me.. there is food a-a-and great things for you-.."

I stepped back an inch, becoming wary of his intents.

"Yeah, I'll just come on down maybe uhhh – later!."

"NO!."

Holy shit!, I winced back at the gruff tone of his voice, stepping back further away from him.

"Ohh, I did not meant that!, t-this place – is not safe!."

With every inch I distance away from him, he came closer. His features becoming more clearer to me.

There is something not normal to this guy, I sense it. My heart's beating fast in the moment, my head thinking about every wrongs that could happen with my actions.

"I know.. you're not either."

With that, the toothy smile on his face was gone.

All that was now is the hideous smirk of a hungry bloodlusting wolf.

-!

The moment my feet set off to evade the danger my instincts were telling, I found myself knocked to the ground on my back!.

"—Guhh-AHH!." The thing on top off me! It was—biting to my face!.

My arms flailed around to push off the guy, but I can't because I couldn't even feel anything-!.

-! "AAHHHHH!." I felt my arm being ripped-!—Out!

I felt the warm trinkling sprays on my face, my eyelids felt heavy and everything was just…

Dark… so.. dark.

* * *

"Dream."

Fuckiiiiiiing.

I couldn't remember earlier what it was, but I'm sure I was being eaten some horny wolf lady or something.

And it was hot, I think there's a power outage going on at the moment.

Nonetheless, I rose from bed and began to do my stuff, preparing for another weekdays of work.

God I hate Mondays.

Once I was out of the bath, I spent no time wasted to get on my oppresed office worker suit while the cold of the morning still runs. The sun was really intense from what I look from the curtains.

Ahh, mirror me. Mirror mirror on my closet door, who is the most handsomest of all?.

Pointing finger guns to the mirror, I winked "Yeaahee that's right."

Living alone I do get this retarded.

Proceeding to the kitchen downstairs, I looked at the wall clock above that was indicating I have the time to settle down to have breakfast, walking down to the station and lazily walk to my destination.

And so I did, it was a nice breakfast. I will admit proudly that I have the skills to cook meals that will make a wife the one who goes to work instead. Being a house husband isn't a bad idea at all if the situation says so.

I have fully devoured the meal offered by myself.

And so I smoke. Just because I can and I no longer care about my bodily functions.

"Haah."

…

…

Don't mind me but I have repeated this cycle for 5 years after my Bachelor degree graduation but only this day, chucking down this cigaratte feels like a deja'vu.

mAYBE, it's just me.

I finally prepared myself to head out to work, grabbing my briefcase with me.

In the back of my head, I have always imagined myself stepping out the door with the Universal background theme with the title 'FUCK THIS GAY EARTH' bottom text 'AND ALL 7, 500, 000, 000 PEOPLE IN IT.

But this.

"ffuucCKK THIS GAY EARTH WHAT IN THE SEVEN FLOORS OF HEAVEN IS THIS!?."

This is not normal. This is not something that happens to your average corporate worker. This is not 81-, 22 Tenchijou District, Shinjuku-kuu, Tokyo-tou 169-42000, Japan. This is not modern day residential area Tokyo. And this is NOT funny.

This is a fucking Isekai.

As how much I want to eat crack and get all crack-ish from this.

No, I have a healthy mind, and I have concerns for all the tons of shit that will be neglected in my previous life.

oR MAYBE I'M JUST DREAMING AND EVEN IN THIS DREAM I SMOKED SOME QUESTIONABLE SHIT.

"Sshh-shh, hey you."

I got all alarmed at the voice, and I immediately turned to the source.

Oh great! It's an old japanese dude, approaching in a wary motion because who wouldn't be weirded out seeing some modern guy in this age!?.

"Yeah hey!, can you tell me what place is this?."

He scanned me from top to bottom, furrowing his brows "This is no place for you."

Ggh! "Well—can you take me somewhere else that is my place?."

Nodding with a sheepish smile, he extends his hand out to me.

Boyyy luckily there is such thing as civillization-…

…

…

That is no hand of a normal person.

"Come, I will bring you to a safer place."

I stepped back a little, "Uhh, yeah maybe I'll go later!. Just point me the directi-…"

"NO!."

I winced at the sudden gruff tone of his voice, okay something really isn't right here..

"Ohh, I did not meant that!, t-this place – is not safe!."

With every inch I distance away from him, he came closer. His odd features becoming more clearer to me.

I saw a glimpse of his toothy grin, even those, they don't belong to a sane human.

"I bet… you're the one who isn't safe here…"

His smile was gone.

Replaced with the smile of something much more horrid.

He's coming onto me—oaaAAAWWH SHIEEUT!.

* * *

"dream."

Dreams are weird. But that's what makes us to grow philosophy by questioning every single things in our life.

In life, we are awaken to the daily stuff that we need perform to continue it. Even the simplest things in life like wake up, bath, brush your teeth, get something to eat and go to work.

Even when stepping out of the door way, getting greeted by the scenerY OF GOD WHAT IN THE SEVEN LEVELS OF HELL IS THIS!?

"Shh-shh. Hey you."

I turned around to the source of the voice! It was an odd japanese dude in traditional clothing!.

He was a far and approaching me with wary! bUT NONETHELESS, I ran to him! "Help! Mister! Can you tell me where I'm at!?."

He furrowed his brows "This is no place for you."

"ggggGGGAAARRGHH YEAH I KNOW IT REALLY IS NOT AND I NEED TO CONTACT MY BOSS THAT I QUIT MY FUCKING JOB!."

Despite my rash exclamations, he winced a bit, but wasn't fazed.

"Come with me, this place is not safe for you."

"Oh thank you dear mister I couldn't ask fo-…"

…

…

I pointed out at his arm "Why do you have fur?."

Then, his smile dropped.

aaaWWWW SHIEUT!.

* * *

"Dream."

* * *

"Aww yeah shit the electric's busted."

* * *

"wHAT IN THE NAME OF FRIK IS THIS!?."

* * *

"…is that fur or you really have long nails and arm hair?."

* * *

"D-Dream."

* * *

"DAMN IT THE WATER'S FUUHKING COLD~~!."

* * *

"NANDA KORE WAAAAAA!?."

* * *

"Ehhhehhe it really must be cold that you need some sort of fur coat right?."

* * *

"…Dream."

* * *

"Awww shit is it the apocalypse? Even the line isn't working."

* * *

"Goddamnit Jesus I am high as a kite."

* * *

"Wow you have such nice fur coat where did you buy this?."

* * *

And then I saw him coming. His teeth jagged and sharp. Once I hit the ground, hard, my face were being torn apart to the point I couldn't even feel half of it.

The lukewarm puddle lying by my sides.

My arm that was being teared from its base as if it was nothing.

I was still conscious, when I felt it feasting on my insides.

And then I woke up.

Again.

"It wasn't a dream."

I clenched my head tightly, I was breathing heavily at the sudden clarity that came into my head.

I didn't just got isekai'd… I got fucking re-zero'd too.

That's it. I had my limit point and now its NO MORE.

I got out of bed and opened up the curtains, indicating I was around thick greenery's of an eastern forest.

That.. wolfman or something, a youkai. He took the appearance of a human and yet.

The thought being eaten by it over and over…

Tchh, I did not waste my time around and I chosen to skip my bath.

There is like, half an hour before my encounter with that thing.

I begin gathering all the materials I had with me that will be essential for my survival. Something that I learned from randomly switching between National Geographic and Discovery channel.

I was already in clothing that will fit for the conditions. An UBACS suit with a short sleeved hoodie as the outer, long baggy pants with a bunch of pockets and hiking boots.

This is gonna be short and quick, but will last long enough for god knows what I'm gonna face.

I took a thick magazine and wrapped it around my arm, and then secure it with a thick layer of duct tape around it. Patting the heft, it felt solid and it WILL with stand that bite.

After applying the protective armor on my other arm, I begin on my legs this time. But instead of magazines, I found a pair'f cut off metal pipes that should work on it and then placed it on the front of my legs.

If I'm going to kick someone it better be really hard. I wrapped the pipes around my legs with duct tape.

I stood up and did a couple of jumps, satisfied at my mobility even with the heft around my arms and legs.

A couple of options laid down on the floor, my eyes tracking each one of it that would be suitable for the situation of combat.

A metal pipe with its connector a top of it that I can easily swing with one hand…

A wooden bat from my old ass highschool baseball club..

A really thick bamboo stick that I had from last year's tanabata..

I sighed underneath my breath.

Instead of those, I went with a deadlier alternative that I had to pick.

I plucked out a broom stick from its sweeper, I then proceeded to the kitchen and picked one of the knives I had.

Its already feeling like facing apocalypse, but God who the fuck knew it was actually coming right infront of my doorstep.

I secured the remaining as I taped the knife on the tip of the broom stick, wielded in my hands like a spear.

This will suffice for the mean time, I don't know what is outside there else than that hound. I filled the bunches of my pockets on my hoodie and pants with some stuff that could be handy in a fight.

Looking at the wall clock, I still had time before the right timing when I usually come out of the door.

I took this moment, plopping down to my living room sofa and took out a cig.

The room was filled with the noise of me popping out zippo, the inhaling of smoke and snap back the zippo in one of my pants pocket.

If I'm going out of that door once more, this time I will be prepared for it.

…

…

…

"Haah."

It was about time that I finished down the cigaratte and chucked its remains in the tray. Grabbing the spear, I went for the door.

Gripping on the door knob, I took a deep breath, preparing for the worst in this loop.

I stepped outside and walked out, scanning my surroundings to make sure there were'nt anything else.

There I stood, a good distance away from the edge of the stone cliff as I watched over the landscape below me.

The environment did not change, it was the usual morning that I thought I felt back in Tokyo, but this was something much more… peaceful.

The skies are blue, the sun shone a ray of warmth, the air was cold and clean, and the smell of this place is the scent of morning dew and flowers altogether.

It was beautiful, but, the wild has evil in it.

"Shh-shh. Hey you."

There. You. Fucking. Are.

I turned a full around to that voice, the same image of that beast clearing out from the bushes, approaching me as if I was the threat.

With the spear in my hands, I prayed and gripped it tightly, pointing the edge at him "You come another step closer there will be high quality clothing to be made." I meant it literally, everytime it happened.

"Calm down friend… I have no intents to fight…" But still he stepped closer and closer, and I only backed off further away. "You, with me.. come. This is no place for you."

"Hey, this is my house right here. Of course this is my land."

"This place... n-not safe. In village, t-they have food and great things.."

As always, he extends the arm that he didn't hid properly.

"Nice hands bud, ever heard of the wolf in the man's clothing?."

And then it began.

On all fours his apparation that of a wolf approached me fast ahead of me, but this time I saw it.

The moment I'll thrust this spear into him I'll-..!

"GGHAAA-!." Shit! I screwed it! He came running and turned immediately instead, leaping onto me from the side!.

As I hit my back on the ground once more, I struggle with keeping the spear on top of me to keep away his body!.

His jaws was snapping infront of my face, but I reacted and curled up my legs, sending a forceful kick to it's stomach and flew him away from me.

Once I stood my ground, I readied once more with my breath heavy.

The wolf man side stepped around me, now with his claws upfront "..h-human… you, smell like… war.."

I furrowed at him "And why is that?."

"…Intense.. spirit.." His tongue was out from his mouth "..and remains of ash.."

Well that's just my cig.

Once more he leaped, but instead of thrusting, I sweeped the edge of the knife on him!.

_SZCHIING_

It worked! I saw blood trickling from the sides of its neck-!

"AAARGHH!."

SHIT!, My face! Again!?.

He successfully landed a claw on my cheek! It didn't felt deep but I was sure it will leave a mark!.

Bearing with the dripping pain, I saw him rolled out away from me, now on all fours as he was ready for another leap.

Not this time bitch!.

In the spur moment he was about to take the jump, I threw the spear like a javelin and prayed it hits him!.

No. It. Didn't!

Although it did not, he was alarmed from it and evaded the mock attack.

But shit, I have no weapon now and its feets away…

"Hehe, what are you gonna do now boy? You don't have a weapon anymore…"

Shut the fuck up Captain Obvious.

I was in a stance where there was one option left for me.

fUCKING RUN FOR IT!.

My legs rocketed off to the nearest clearing I could find, in hopes I could outsmart it in these woods!

I ran and ran, evading the bushes and kept my vision clear for obsticles.

"ttHAATTS IT!. KEEP RUNNING BOY, YOU ARE IN MY TERRITORY NOW!."

WELL SHIT IF ISN'T IT OBVIOUS THAT CAPTAIN OBVIOUS HAS AN ADVANTAGE IN HIS OWN PLACE!.

I felt him approaching closer to me with each of my breath leaving, and I was getting tired! I don't think I could survive this!.

Ahead of me was a clearing, well lit by daylight so I chose the path and kept running for it!.

I got out! And there was still light for me-…

…oh shit.

A dead end. And I was almost close to falling from the ledge and down to what I can hear is running water.

Out from the bushes, the figure looming with a devilish grin stared at me. "Stop struggling.. human… I can make this quick for youuu…"

And everytime you did it was slow and bloody fuck you.

I gave him no words.

Absolutely having no martial arts background, still I raise my fists shakily.

The wolfman leapt once more with his claws raised, but I put my arms upfront, guarding from the slash and proving the duct tape armor working well against it despite the stagger I receive from his strength.

His claws got stuck after sinking into the thick layer of magazine, and so I used my other arm to send a faithful hook to its face!. Oh lord how it actually fazes him.

I sent another blow, I heard a crunch from the second one, but the third he managed to evade as he backed off and was about to send an upward strike from above with his other claws.

So I fully backstepped in the flash of that second, if it did hit me I was in for a world of pain.

If there is such embodiment of Mother Luck, how I will kneel and pray to it-…!

"ARKK!." I felt a strong kick to my stomach! I staggered to keep my footing, but then I saw claws over my head!-…

Kuh-!

My attempt at keeping my footing helped me evading that strike, talk about lucky!.

I clenched another fist, and sent a wide hook upward!.

BOOM! There was that crunch, that satisfying crunch!-..

_**CRUNCH**_

"HAAARGH!." He's—He's biting my fist!. "L-let go of it!."

I gritted my teeth at the pain of its powerful jaw digging into my flesh, shit! It was the same as before!.

His eyes held the look 'If I ripped this off, it will be over for you.' You sneaky bitch..-!

But I had something in my sleeve, a dirty one!

_**TONGGG**_

I saw his eye's almost buldging out from its sockets when I sent the my metal shin up to its ASS!.

His jaw was loose! Feeling the pain I pulled it out in a flash and then pushed him off from me!.

But it didn't end there!, he side tracked clumsily up to the edge and then-…

"W-Wo-WOOAAHHHH!."

…

…

He legit fell off.

I was expecting a hard splash knowing it was a flowing river down beneath, but…

I inched closer to look down at it…

Oh.

Oh no… okay.

Technically, I did not kill him.

Right?.

"Geez, is this the part where I should regret having a first kill?."

I stepped away back and exhaled a sigh of relief.

And so that happened. It was inevitable. And it had to happen.

"aaaaahhh heeeeckkkk."

So far only the word heck can describe this pain I'm feeling on my skin, but surely I will have to treat it later. Who knows if he had rabies before-…

Aww shit…

Just what I needed, a pack of them, right infront of me, and my only way of escape has been blocked.

Except there were actually wolfgirls, that I only paid attention to.

Some of them were looking at the bodily mess below the cliff, and they were looking at me with the expression I could not picture out.

Then one of them, who was a female kin of theirs, stepped out to me "Y-You killed, him over there?."

"Please, none of that. I beg." I raise my hands in a defeated motion, stepping further back.

Instead of dropping the smile, she puts on a malicious one. "For that, we will give you a reward."

Hey.

If I die, I will be resurrected again.

Right?.

I took an action that I put faith on, and then I closed my eyes.

The wolf kin almost reached to me, but they were too late.

I was free falling for a good few seconds before I dived head first into the violent waters.

It was dark. And cold.

And it was cruel.

* * *

_I opened my eyes to a warm feeling of comfort._

_Looking at my surroundings, I instantly recognized the place where I stood._

_I'm in… a garden?.._

_It was a sunny day, a warmth on my face that washed out the cold from me._

"_Papa! Papa!."_

_there was a child, and her two parents facing infront of something that I could not make out what._

"_Ahh, here he is." The man took of his hat, saluting as he placed it over his chest._

_The mother felt the same gloom, only looking down without saying a word._

_The child squatted down and laid down flowers next to something. Clasping her hands, there she prayed._

"_Thank you, random Onii-san. Pa told me to never forget it. They will never too." Curious, I walked over and stood beside them. _

_Infront of me was a a Japanese gravestone with carvings of a name I could finally see. There were flowers and lit joss sticks next to it as well._

_In its kanji glory, it spelled._

_**NANASHI ISSEI**_

_**JANUARY 9**__**TH**__** 1983**_

_**JULY 1**__**ST**__** 2019**_

_It was as if, the child could actually see me, when I tracked my eyes down to hers. _

"_Thank you…"_

…

…

* * *

_**DRAGDRAG**_

…Ugh.. what… damn.. happened…?

…

_**DRAG**_

It was… by high time I woke up, and… I remembered… throwing myself… from the cliff…

_**DRAG**_

… I didn't … die?...

_**DRAG**_

…My vision began to clear up… my senses coming back in…

_**DRAG**_

If the indication of the sound was not enough, I was being dragged by the legs across the ground… by some person… I could clearly see now from behind.

He? It was a traveller, with the typical straw hat, robes and a huge backpack made from bamboo canes…

Hahaha-… am I being saved?... or am I just gonna be food to some youkai disguising human..

Instinctively, my hand grabbed a bamboo bark at the sides, and the traveller halted their movements.

"Come on now, you should not resist. You are no less fragile than a plate made from clay."

-W-Wha…

Maaaaannnn.. it's a giiiiiiirrrrllllllllllll.

…A cute huge tiddy purple hair chink gf, just what I need to be devoured by.

_**DRAG**_

…I am the luckiest guy in the whole fucking world.

_**DRAG – Zup. **__"Eirin! Tewi! I'm back!."_

…If I died getting cooked or eaten, its gonna be because of some perfect gf material.

_**POMF**_

…Not just that, if I died I'd start from zero and the whole thing repeats again!~

_**CHUP – CHUP **_

…And the shitfuckery goes over and over! Can't stop won't stop!.

_**Sssssssssss**_

…First I got like – Train Isekai'd! And because God really hates me that much, he even Re:zero'd or Tom Cruise Edge Of Tomorrow'd me into a fucking oblivion!.

_**Fuuuuu**_

…What am I gonna do…

_**Pat – pat **_

…?

…All of a sudden, I don't feel pain anymore…

..Is.. it over?.

I struggled to open my heavy eyelids, from its corner, I saw a looming shadow above me… bunny ears?.

"_You're gonna be fine. Yer tough. For a human."_

The figure said, and then began walking off and headed for the sliding door ahead… leaving me in this japanese-esque room with a single candle lit at the corner…

My eyes were becoming heavier… damn it feels really fluffy… in this fu- ton…

Zzzzz

* * *

_**RATTLE RATTLE.**_

_**RATTLE RATTLE.**_

_Rattling and rattling. It sounded like a wheel cart… and I was boarding it._

_My eyelids fluttered open heavily… and my visual indicates I was on a carriage… with a few men infront of me…_

_My surroundings were… European foresty, that's how I would like to describe it…_

"_Hey you."_

_My head slowly turned to Todd Howard. He had that smile. That goddamned smile on his face._

"_You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right?. Walked right into the Great Hakurei Border, same as us, and that gap demon over there."_

_Huhh? Gap demon-…_

"_WOAAAHHHHHH!."_

_Before I could even try to see the face of the 'gap demon' beside me, I was dropping down to a dark hole!_

_And I see no ennndddd!._

"_**Fly… me to the moon, let me play among the stars~."**_

_And why the heck am I hearing that song playing!?—Ohh, its Patrick._

"_**Let me see what spring is like, On Jupiter and Mars~."**_

_I notice I was free falling slowly, there was this huge moon infront of my view and… Patrick smugly rocking the horse he is on._

_He noticed me, and waved "Hey there, I was just dwelling with my philosophical thoughts and debating with myself regarding the essence of what truly makes a man, a man."_

_Despite the falling, I curiously questioned "Well, have you found the hint of answers?."_

"_Hmmm, not quite. I'm stuck at the question: is humanity an Instrument?."_

"_Maybe it is Patrick, maybe."_

_All that's left was the melody of the ending song playing, as Patrick continued to rock the horse. _

"_Oof!."_

_Well that was a hard, painless impact._

_Patrick's gone. Around me was friggin black but I still could see myself anyway. _

_And the usual questions always comes first… "Where am I?."_

_I was beginning to scan my surroundings like a lost dog, alas, I couldn't miss the elephant in the room._

_No seriously! Its really an elephant! A big ass endangered species of African elephant! Right infront of me!._

"_Prrtt!." _

_Oh hey yeah it greeted me as it lift it's trunk._

_I gently walked over and patted the big guy, wow so this is how an elephant is like. This one is an absolute unit!._

_As I was busy doing that, his trunk was pointing forward to something._

_My eyes trailed towards it, but this time it wasn't an eleven._

_It was a huge structure, a far from me I could easily tell it's a couple fourty of meters tall. Huge ass building tall._

_And its… a door?._

"_Prrtt!."_

_Oh yeah alright bye elephant._

_Leaving the big guy behind, I walked towards the huge stone door that was towering upon me. The touch to it was metallic. But the thought of opening it? Pffttt-…_

_**SHINNN**_

"_W-woah!." _

_Holy crap, that happened..?_

_I put my hand once more to the huge gap in the middle, and my hands were illuminating gold as I put it closer. _

_What does this mean…?_

_Just… maybe…_

_I clenched my fists together and tighten myself._

_As I gripped at the edges with my fists lighting up, I began-… pulling on it!._

"_Ggrrhh! Aaaahhh!."_

_GRVVHGRVVH_

_Hell yeah! Its budging!. I gotta keep doing this!._

_GRVVHGRVVH_

_There was a gold light shining from it, filling the absence of luminisence in the room_

_I peeked over to the light, and that was the last thing I saw before I get completely devourd by that surge of blinding rays._

_I held my eyes shut, but I felt it… that soft and cold touch wrapping around my neck, and the bosom that of a person resting upon me..._

"_You've done this before… and you chose to do it again…"_

_-!_

_This… voice_

"_You've felt it, and you chose to feel it again…"_

_Her… warmth_

"_You've played it… but things always changed… again…"_

_Her embrace was beginning to tighten, and I felt driplets fell on the side of my cheek._

"_When the time is right… I will haste to your side once again…"_

_-I…_

_Just… why-…_

_Why-..?_

"_You don't have to do it all alone anymore… we will all be by your side.."_

_Goddamnit-..Why!?._

"_We will end this, we will live and we will never grow old…"_

_Just… why.. do I know her name…_

"_I promise…"_

"_You've always promised, Yukari."_

* * *

**You mortal fools**

**This is not a newly up-to-date rare Touhou OC fanfiction.**

**This is merely but a vessel of my message from the past of 2009 to you people of the future.**

**Appraise my toppest kek, and for the memes I have predicted.**


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